Forge(d)

I have had this word in my head lately.

Forge: Verb

1. to form by heating and hammering
2. to move forward slowly and steadily
3. to move with a sudden increase of speed and power

In my case I have been feeling like I have been being hammered incessantly for about 2 years now. Maybe longer, but it all blurs together doesn’t it? I have been heated to the point of submission, beaten into shape, heated, reevaluated, beaten some more, thrown into the fire and beaten again. Am I taking shape? Not sure really but it is the visual I have had for about a week or so.

I am under the impression that metal is treated in this way in order to turn it from something useless into something that is stronger and with purpose. Can you relate? Really in the scheme of things what I have been through is nothing really. Nothing traumatic, nothing life or death, nothing of great consequence to most of the world. However, I am spoiled. So it is shaping me.

So I would say I am still in definition 1. right now.

I do think that I may be moving into definition 2. to move forward slowly and steadily. I don’t feel as though I am stuck now. I have pushed through something and am steadily gaining some momentum.

By I, I really mean we. My husband and I. Nice to be able to say that. We. We are working together. We are pushing through. We are gaining momentum. I am especially grateful for this. It is the reason I am gaining and not stagnating, his partnership.

I haven’t gained so much that I qualify for definition 3. yet but that gives me hope. “To move with a sudden increase of speed and power”. Read that again. That sounds great doesn’t it? It gives me hope. I am being shaped and painful as it sometimes seems, stubborn as I sometimes am to accept molding, I am taking shape. I don’t know what my purpose will be, not a clue what I am being molded into but I have faith that it is something better than what I am now.